you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
