Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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