hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
