With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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