All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she woke up with a sticky ear
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
