i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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