I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
