Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Are we still banned from the library?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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