STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
