He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
