worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
