Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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