He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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