Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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