i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
