"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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