there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
