you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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