whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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