i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
