Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
