Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
