i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
