I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
