i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
