He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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