so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
