No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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