Its about making memories worth repressing
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
