I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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