My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
