I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
