Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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