That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
