I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
