I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
