Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
