I love black thongs
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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