I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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