PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
