I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
