week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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