singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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