Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
