Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
