Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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