Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dick very happy bro
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
