Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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