You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
