Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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