yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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