my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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