If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
